M: A number of bodies where the volume of all bodies equals but does not exceed the capacity for said ocean, and all are citizens of Japan.
Mutter: Why did Japan cross the road.
Vater: As a nation, Japan exists more as a semi-definite thought construct as opposed to a tangible material object, consisting of ancestrally held land and those who now make that land their home. As such Japan does not have legs nor cross roads.
{insert riddle here where answer is Japan}
{insert answer here where riddle is your mother}
Is the death of 10,000 people more tragic than the death of one person? Not if that one person's death is really fucking tragic and profitable. Which is why I cared more about Jacko's death than Japan's. Plus M.Jack was white and lived here, while Japanese have green hair and tentacles and who the fuck knows where they live.
I, for one, am glad it's been more than two weeks since Japageddon, cause now I'm not being taunted by those tiny, obscure 'Help Japan' links that threaten to eat me with guilt. And why give those green haired fuckers anything anyway, when I can easily spend that money on convenient shit I may or may not want to buy. For example, I can instead peel my asshole off this chair, get my clothes back on, go outside, get in my car, drive five miles to Burger King, decide what I want, order it, get the order, drive away, look at my cheeseburger and realize they fucked up, drive back, wait in line five minutes to exchange the order, and blow through lights heading home as I snarf my burger, which is so, so much better than clicking on some button and giving someone with tentacles my five bucks. King, you tease, you just gave me a food-on!
I'm so fucking sick of this. Instead of continuing to make shit an issue, why don't we just take all those poor bastards and drop them off on some island in the Pacific and gawk at them? Solution!
