- "Mary, Your Mother" <su_madre@ymail.com>
- "WBC" <admin@godhatesfags.com>
Fellow Haters
Bravo. I mean, really. No kidding. Everyone these days emphasizes the love aspect of the bible. What? Omni-benevolent my shaven taint. God hates a lot of things, and I think it's finally time someone pointed this out. Fags, yes, that's a given. Gay marriage is disgusting; the thought of two homos loving each other and trying to make a monogamous, lifelong commitment under God or the state makes me want to puke. I mean, come on, hetero marriage is bad enough. Ish. But God also hates so much more! All non-Jews, for example. No shit. Women, not too fond of them. But who is. Other religions. Duh. What else...Esau, but he was just a bastard. But there's also some things that God doesn't hate. Slavery...nice! Gotta get me some slaves. Also genocide. Rape, that's a good one.
But the real reason I'm writing is my dog died, and I want you to protest his funeral 'cause I think he was a homo. I mean, I'm not sure, but there were definitely signs. Like he was really, really friendly. Also he liked to hump on other boy dogs. Gay animals are sooooo unnatural, as in a natural law, Thomas Aquinas sense. I blame my gay god on our government and the liberal media. Oops, did I say god? I meant dog. Dog.
But the really real reason I'm writing is because as a fellow minister of hate, I'd like for you to donate money to my cause! Some of it is in blog form, chalked full of bloggy hate goodness, but I also preach and do sermons multiple times a day, which usually consists of me either screaming out the open window to anyone getting in their cars, or me yelling at my wife. But this shit don't come free, I need money. Especially money tainted by hate. Please email me some right away.
Your Brother in Chris ,
Your Mother
Paul's Church of Satan and Chicken Hut (with drive thru)
P.S. Fuck you.
