's minds. Hello, FBI! Mindfuck, you might call it, though it should prolly be called mindrape, cause if kids knew what I was doing, they'd say, hey cut that out. My dream job would be to work at Toys 'R Us, where I could carry out a veritable statutory mindrape-orgy, planting deep seeds of confusion and resentment that will last a lifetime:
Do you have Barbies?-
-There is no God.
No, that's too cliche.
Where's the Transformers at?-
-Optimus Prime's a homo.
What does that mean?-
-He puts 'it' in other boy robots' exhaust ports.
Nuh-uh. Why does
Megatron hate him then?-
-Lover's quarrel.
That's a bird silly!-
-Shut up.
Huh?-
Hey you,
do you have the Super Posh Spoiled Brat Mega Mansion?-
-Oh, that one is really expensive. Your mommy decide to spend Daddy's money on that instead of removing her cancer?
Mommy has caster?-
-Something like that.
Which is prolly why
your Dad wants a divorce. .............................-
Ah, c'est la creme de la creme of mindrape, when you fuck a kid's head so completely that they are left speechless. Mental victory lap!
Dude, uhhhhhh, where are the skateboards.-
-Is that a question? Tell you what, why don't you just give me the $100, and I'll save you years of disappointment and pain and just beat you in your head, ass, and dick now. Bonus! I'll spit in your mouth and shit in your Emo-Bieber hair.
Fuck you man.-
Just to clarify, if you are 27, still live with your parents, and are shopping at a Toys 'R Us for a skateboard, you are a child to me.
Hey, where the Lego Starwars at?-
-Who cares. Don't you think it's absurd that some nerd wiped his ass with a script and now has more g's than the GDP of Malaysia, Tanzania, and the Congo combined? God those prequels sucked ass.
You know, maybe you should stop- being such an overly critical asshole and appreciate the Star Wars saga for what it is. You grew up with those old 'originals,' and your sentimentality towards them has biased your ability to watch the prequels without your overly inflated expectations. The originals were just that, an original idea, groundbreaking, yet the script itself was mediocre, and the acting was sophomoric. Just like the prequels, so par for the course jerkoff. Also, your fly is
down, and stop trying to mindrape children.
..................
Fuck this. I quit.
