Apocalyptic car crash > Ryan Dunn

First, I'm sick of ppl coming up to me and saying, "uh, Ryan Dunn?  You're supposed to be dead."  Just a hypothetical, of course, not saying your mother looks like him or whatever, with his ruggedly handsome good looks and I don't give a shit power beard.   

Third, Roger Ebert, grow a fucking face already.  Or, better yet, take that shard of mirror and finish cutting yours off a la Hannibal.  If I had a choice between face fucking Rebert or jumping off a cliff, there'd be less of me left than Ryan Dunn after my fucking swan dive. 

Second, this is all a publicity stunt for his new movie anyway.  So when Ryan comes back from the dead to party shit up, I'll be all like, "no kidding." 

How the fuck did you think he was going to die.  At 90 from natural causes?  No, he pulled off the greatest fucking stunt ever.  The one that killed him.  Keep an eye out cause it just might be in Jackass 4.  Fitting as 4 is the number of death in China.  Or the number for wontons.  idk

WTF you expect this to be funny.  Life isn't a joke.  Except mine. 

Party on, you magnificent son of a bitch