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| Hahahaha omg you fucked up. |
11.9.12
10.9.12
New Tool Single is 26 Minutes Long
HOLY REALITY FUCKING SHIT:
The first Tool single, "Anocutaneous Reflexum," from their forthcoming TBA album, is reported to clock in at an amazing 26 minutes, 34 seconds, according to an anonymous source close to the band. "This shit is going to knock your socks off," states front-tool Maynard J.K., in a rare rumor confirmation, "inna gota devita" doesn't have anything on this shit." The same source describes the song as "so epic...it's like Beowulf's musical reincarnation."
The band, reportedly capitalizing on the popular sentiement that "the world will end before Tool drops a new album," will stage an unorthodox release on December 22 later this year. The full length album features 6 tracks, and showcases the talent of Mike Kroeger, who replaces bass player Justin Chancellor on the album, after the former bassist was hospitalized from choking on a biscuit.
Tool may be best known for their dark, edgy, hard-hitting singles "Prison Sex," "Stinkfist" and "Cunt Trigger." No official press release has yet been issued. This is far from unusual, however, as Tool has a well known track record for being highly secretive, reclusive shut-ins who are often dicks to their over-zealous fans.
- From putiedami.com
Three questions! Who is tool, and why is Jim such a fucking dick?
The first Tool single, "Anocutaneous Reflexum," from their forthcoming TBA album, is reported to clock in at an amazing 26 minutes, 34 seconds, according to an anonymous source close to the band. "This shit is going to knock your socks off," states front-tool Maynard J.K., in a rare rumor confirmation, "inna gota devita" doesn't have anything on this shit." The same source describes the song as "so epic...it's like Beowulf's musical reincarnation."
The band, reportedly capitalizing on the popular sentiement that "the world will end before Tool drops a new album," will stage an unorthodox release on December 22 later this year. The full length album features 6 tracks, and showcases the talent of Mike Kroeger, who replaces bass player Justin Chancellor on the album, after the former bassist was hospitalized from choking on a biscuit.
Tool may be best known for their dark, edgy, hard-hitting singles "Prison Sex," "Stinkfist" and "Cunt Trigger." No official press release has yet been issued. This is far from unusual, however, as Tool has a well known track record for being highly secretive, reclusive shut-ins who are often dicks to their over-zealous fans.
- From putiedami.com
Three questions! Who is tool, and why is Jim such a fucking dick?
20.8.12
Best show ever!
Dr. Savage
OMG whatup? I fucking love your show bro. "Most Exciting Show" no shit! I love when the show opens with rock music and machine guns, and then like, you sigh, followed by the weight of your apathetic silence. Or like sometimes you're so bored and have nothing to talk about so you read from the newspaper, it gets me amped!!! I like, bounce around the room n'shit, and shadow box, fuck yeah! Maybe do like a kick-flip off the wall! You are like the angry, cynical, overly-critical jewish grandfather that I never had! Except you look like a psychic with fake eyebrows! What's up with that!?
You're the only conservative both man and angry enough to hate other conservatives! WTF not angry enough tho! You are the king conservative and you need to uphold your station by eating lesser conservatives! And then call yourself an independent because all other conservatives hate your ass! Bro I love your books! Never read 'em though, but you talk so fucking much about them on your show it's like I don't have to! Props to the hater so feared he's banned in Britain!!
Bro I love your show so much! It's weird cause it's like I'm almost in love with you! Like one of them gays! Fuck that gay shit though, I'm straight and married with 10 kids and I pay my fucking taxes! Sometimes though the only way I can fall asleep at night is by jacking off to your angry face and fake eyebrows with a thumb up my ass! It's weird bro! It's like I love you or something! How can someone so straight and gayhateful live in SanFran! No seriously call me bro I love you!
Your Bro!
your mother
P.S. I fucking love Rockstar!!
29.4.12
Three Magic Words
You are gay. In my opinion. Do you know what's great about the human mind? It can believe some really stupid shit. Don't believe me? Then go drink the kool-aid.
Newt Gingrich is the biggest cock gobbling closet case of all time. In my opinion. Look, right there, legal bullet proofing. Because each and every meatbag and also dolphins and elephants is/are entitled to their own thoughts, no matter how illogical (Christian) or disgusting (German/Japanese), and also the ability to convey this mental diarrhea, you are not liable through any legal recourse as long as it's what you believe. Mostly.
Isn't belief a great thing? All the employees of Games Workshop have aids. In my opinion. Dude, can't you tell by the way they walk. It's so obvious.
Obama and Putin are in a conspiracy to get my cat pregnant. In my opinion. Don't believe me? Check your Bible, it's in the code retard. Shit.
Also, I don't care what your IQ is, if you bring up your IQ in a casual conversation, you are an idiot.
Do you know what's great. Sleep. Get some. Me too.
Newt Gingrich is the biggest cock gobbling closet case of all time. In my opinion. Look, right there, legal bullet proofing. Because each and every meatbag and also dolphins and elephants is/are entitled to their own thoughts, no matter how illogical (Christian) or disgusting (German/Japanese), and also the ability to convey this mental diarrhea, you are not liable through any legal recourse as long as it's what you believe. Mostly.
Isn't belief a great thing? All the employees of Games Workshop have aids. In my opinion. Dude, can't you tell by the way they walk. It's so obvious.
Obama and Putin are in a conspiracy to get my cat pregnant. In my opinion. Don't believe me? Check your Bible, it's in the code retard. Shit.
Also, I don't care what your IQ is, if you bring up your IQ in a casual conversation, you are an idiot.
Do you know what's great. Sleep. Get some. Me too.
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| This dude obviously likes his corn dogs. IMHO. |
23.1.12
Fuck You
It's been so long since your mother's said it, let me say it again:
Suck it.
Life is made up of the little moments. I've been thinking that since I recently witnessed the birth of my tenth child by my fourth baby mama. What, don't judge. I'm 24 and I can do what I want. Just ask my parole officer.
But that got me reminiscing. Maybe you should too. NOW.
Suck it.
Life is made up of the little moments. I've been thinking that since I recently witnessed the birth of my tenth child by my fourth baby mama. What, don't judge. I'm 24 and I can do what I want. Just ask my parole officer.
But that got me reminiscing. Maybe you should too. NOW.
...Remember when...
...You looked at your asshole in the mirror for the first time.
...You were at your uncle's farm, and you asked your mother why the one boy dog was humping the other boy dog. She said they were confused. Then you were confused.
...The first time you punched a kid in the sack cause he called your mother a dirty slut. Then last night when you knocked out that drunk who said your mother made out with his stinkhole while he was watching the News Hour with Jim Lehrer. Then your mother got mad at you, got your dad an ice pack and made you apologize.
P.S. I hate you.
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